New year. A Rant. Season of Wisdom.

Well 2016 here you are!

5 days in.... Who else still feels in shock and a little bloated from Holiday food?

I know I do.

I would usually use this time to apologize for how extremely late (3 months I think) I am with a blog update or letting anyone know how I am holding up across the pond... However, I've been enjoying my marriage, down time, the holidays, new family, and the new year! Thus, I'm not sorry.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my future... Scary... So unknown. Which of course is what makes it kinda awesome and thrilling.

I am a wife, a friend, a sister, a missionary, a Pastors wife, nanny, and whatever else you want to label me. That is fine, but my desire at the end of the day is to fully be a daughter to my King. That my friends is my resolution not just for this year, but for the rest of my life.  I want to grow in intimacy and identity so much that in at least the next 5 years I will become unrecognizable not only to myself, but to my friends and family.

Which brings me to something I have been processing a lot lately... A lot of us, including myself, can use New Years resolutions to get really down on ourselves for not completing or sticking with the resolutions we made at the beginning of the year before. I think we should all just give ourselves some grace and give God a little more credit here. We should also try not to think about what we haven't accomplished in the last year, but instead think about what we have accomplished in the last 5 years. It is much easier to see from a 5 year perspective and just 1. I mean that is only 12 months.

For me the last 5 years has been more than I could have ever imagined... Travel with me back a little... I was just finishing my Harvest School in Mozambique in 2010 and coming home from outreach in Nepal just in time for New years 2011. I went on a year trip driving through 19 Central and South American countries changing my life forever. I staffed 4 consecutive Harvest Schools leading an outreach after each of them. Got a boyfriend, got engaged, got married, and moved to England. That was just 5 years. I can not imagine what will happen in the next 5. Travel more, kids, moving to another country?... Only God knows and as hard as that is I definitely prefer it that way....

If there was anything I wish everyone could get out of my rant up there... Is to give yourself a new perspective of your life.... Be thankful for where you are and stop holding yourself back because of previous failures.

A couple of Nights ago Husband and I decided to go to Catch the Fire London (about an hour and a half drive away).  It was an amazing refreshing night. At the end of worship God gave me a picture and I knew it was for me, but I also knew it wasn't just for me it was also for the church in 2016.

I saw a massive band-aid (a plaster for my British folk) over an area of a church building.

Everyday the members of the church would replace the band-aid to make sure there was a clean bandage on whatever wound was there. Everyday like clockwork the members would replace the bandage without even looking at the wound. Much time had gone by and the community is still replacing a band-aid on a wound that was no longer a wound. I heard the voice of God in frustration say "if they would just let me take the band-aid off I could show them I have healed there wounds. They don't have to live in fear anymore of their past hurts."

Then as if he was talking to me the Lord said.

"Stop making decisions based out of fear and calling it wisdom." 

I'm not sure whether I should just leave that soak or dive into it... Cause it could look messy and potentially have a scary out come. What this means for me is a lot of different things. Since being married I have probably made a lot of decisions based on fear, but I saw it as wisdom. Wisdom to the world most of the time is foolishness to God and like wise, what is wise to God is usually pretty foolish to the world. This year I really want to learn real Heavenly Wisdom. I want to meet the Man of Wisdom.

Well that is all I have to say about that for now... 

My life is beautiful and there is a lot of new things God is creating in me and my husband. Many people have asked us how the first year of marriage is going. Stating things like "I bet its pretty hard, the first year always is." Or things like "have you had any really big fights yet?" "Are you regretting your decision yet?" I can cheerfully and Thankfully say absolutely not. First of all we have been married now for about 4 months. I am not exaggerating when I say they have potentially been the best 4 months of my life. Secondly, when we do hear things of that nature we are usually pretty quick to rebuke them from our lives as to not make those words being spoken over us our reality. 

We never go to bed angry with each other Husband is better at that than me, I must admit. Yes we argue, but in the end those arguments only make me fall more in love with my Husband. We are believing in a Loving joy filled marriage with Jesus right in the center of it. Not the worldly views of how the first year should go. Nathan and I have a lot in store for us this year and every year to come. We are so excited and expectant of our future together. 

Also I should add I got a Part Time Nanny Job a 10 minute drive away for the cutest little boy named Lewis! This was was an extreme answer to prayer. I start in February. A lot of other things have been on my heart lately, however I just can not seem to find the words for them yet. My contemplator just hasn't finished cooking them yet. Until then I must bid everyone a beautiful farewell. 

I love you all and am so incredibly thankful for how you all have blessed Nathan and I so much in prayers and wedding gifts! 

Please remember, thanks to technology, I am only a few buttons away. I would love to hear from anyone willing to make the time. As much as I am enjoying my new community and family I miss Tennessee, family, and missionary family so much. 

Thank you again. 

Blessings,

Rachael Michelle

24 and Counting. New blog, Year, and Season.

Today, I am 24.

Nothing feels different. Other than the memories of within a year completing my 24^th country, getting engaged, applying for the most complicated and expensive visa, receiving said visa, and preparing to move to a completely new country and start a entirely new life as a pastors wife. Amongst other things.

People ask me about my life and what I have been up to and as I hear myself tell them of things I
have done, been apart of, and people I met. To be honest I can't even believe it myself. I hear the
words coming out of my mouth and think “is this my life?”

Who am I?

I am (now) a 24 year old woman. Who was born in Georgia, raised in Murfreesboro, Tennessee to a below middle class mother and father who divorced by the time I was 9 years old. Thus resulting to being raised in my teenage years by a single mom and 2 sisters.

Life was never easy and money was always a big issue.

That's why I sit here thinking about the last 23 years of life and I am dumb struck and undone.

My life is a living testimony of what faith in God can look like. I have never been in need of anything, even down to the little things. Like recently, when I ordered a cheap wedding dress online that turned out to be a disaster and someone, I have never met, gives me a $2,000 dress that she has never worn. And it fits.

This Birthday I couldn't possibly celebrate me. Everything I am today is only because of God. The reality of my life is, without Him I am nothing. I would not be the woman I am today without His hand evidently in my life. Along with that there are so many people I am eternally grateful to have. People who have fought for me, blessed me with prayer and finances, and been there for me when I felt alone. That is who I celebrate today. My favorite Teacher in High School, Mrs. Harris, used to tell us all the time “life is not about me.” I can truly say that, that phrase has gotten me out of so many selfish choices and has always been the ticker tap guiding my decisions. It isn't always fun, but has proven worthy.

I wanted to start this new blog. To be even more raw than I have in the past. To start a new season
and new adventure. I always used to say my new year is my birthday because that is truly when I  felt
things could change... I am not sure why I have always had that mindset, but I think I'll keep it.

In just a few short weeks Nathan is arriving once again in the Tennessee and our wedding is less than a month away. I can not believe it. It is all happening so fast. By October 5^th I will be in England beginning my new life as an Englishman's wife and a pastor's wife. 2 very strange titles I am not sure I can live up to.

SO little time and so much to do!

Thank you to everyone for all the Birthday wishes. This year is gonna turn my whole world upside
down and I can not wait.

I've always loved a good life changing experience. 

However, I do want to add with all of the "new" happening it does not mean I am no longer a missionary or will not be found in a foreign land or  my own land sharing the love of Christ. Marriage does not equal settling.  I was surprised to have many people in my life back away from praying for me or supporting me because "I am no longer on the mission field." If anything comes out of this change I hope that I reflect the heart of real missions in my life better than I have thus far. 

All Glory To My King. My lover. My Friend. Yeshua!

Blessings!