5 days in.... Who else still feels in shock and a little bloated from Holiday food?
I know I do.
I would usually use this time to apologize for how extremely late (3 months I think) I am with a blog update or letting anyone know how I am holding up across the pond... However, I've been enjoying my marriage, down time, the holidays, new family, and the new year! Thus, I'm not sorry.
I have been thinking a lot lately about my future... Scary... So unknown. Which of course is what makes it kinda awesome and thrilling.
I am a wife, a friend, a sister, a missionary, a Pastors wife, nanny, and whatever else you want to label me. That is fine, but my desire at the end of the day is to fully be a daughter to my King. That my friends is my resolution not just for this year, but for the rest of my life. I want to grow in intimacy and identity so much that in at least the next 5 years I will become unrecognizable not only to myself, but to my friends and family.
Which brings me to something I have been processing a lot lately... A lot of us, including myself, can use New Years resolutions to get really down on ourselves for not completing or sticking with the resolutions we made at the beginning of the year before. I think we should all just give ourselves some grace and give God a little more credit here. We should also try not to think about what we haven't accomplished in the last year, but instead think about what we have accomplished in the last 5 years. It is much easier to see from a 5 year perspective and just 1. I mean that is only 12 months.
For me the last 5 years has been more than I could have ever imagined... Travel with me back a little... I was just finishing my Harvest School in Mozambique in 2010 and coming home from outreach in Nepal just in time for New years 2011. I went on a year trip driving through 19 Central and South American countries changing my life forever. I staffed 4 consecutive Harvest Schools leading an outreach after each of them. Got a boyfriend, got engaged, got married, and moved to England. That was just 5 years. I can not imagine what will happen in the next 5. Travel more, kids, moving to another country?... Only God knows and as hard as that is I definitely prefer it that way....
If there was anything I wish everyone could get out of my rant up there... Is to give yourself a new perspective of your life.... Be thankful for where you are and stop holding yourself back because of previous failures.
A couple of Nights ago Husband and I decided to go to Catch the Fire London (about an hour and a half drive away). It was an amazing refreshing night. At the end of worship God gave me a picture and I knew it was for me, but I also knew it wasn't just for me it was also for the church in 2016.
I saw a massive band-aid (a plaster for my British folk) over an area of a church building.
Everyday the members of the church would replace the band-aid to make sure there was a clean bandage on whatever wound was there. Everyday like clockwork the members would replace the bandage without even looking at the wound. Much time had gone by and the community is still replacing a band-aid on a wound that was no longer a wound. I heard the voice of God in frustration say "if they would just let me take the band-aid off I could show them I have healed there wounds. They don't have to live in fear anymore of their past hurts."
Then as if he was talking to me the Lord said.
"Stop making decisions based out of fear and calling it wisdom."
I'm not sure whether I should just leave that soak or dive into it... Cause it could look messy and potentially have a scary out come. What this means for me is a lot of different things. Since being married I have probably made a lot of decisions based on fear, but I saw it as wisdom. Wisdom to the world most of the time is foolishness to God and like wise, what is wise to God is usually pretty foolish to the world. This year I really want to learn real Heavenly Wisdom. I want to meet the Man of Wisdom.
Well that is all I have to say about that for now...
My life is beautiful and there is a lot of new things God is creating in me and my husband. Many people have asked us how the first year of marriage is going. Stating things like "I bet its pretty hard, the first year always is." Or things like "have you had any really big fights yet?" "Are you regretting your decision yet?" I can cheerfully and Thankfully say absolutely not. First of all we have been married now for about 4 months. I am not exaggerating when I say they have potentially been the best 4 months of my life. Secondly, when we do hear things of that nature we are usually pretty quick to rebuke them from our lives as to not make those words being spoken over us our reality.
We never go to bed angry with each other Husband is better at that than me, I must admit. Yes we argue, but in the end those arguments only make me fall more in love with my Husband. We are believing in a Loving joy filled marriage with Jesus right in the center of it. Not the worldly views of how the first year should go. Nathan and I have a lot in store for us this year and every year to come. We are so excited and expectant of our future together.
Also I should add I got a Part Time Nanny Job a 10 minute drive away for the cutest little boy named Lewis! This was was an extreme answer to prayer. I start in February. A lot of other things have been on my heart lately, however I just can not seem to find the words for them yet. My contemplator just hasn't finished cooking them yet. Until then I must bid everyone a beautiful farewell.
I love you all and am so incredibly thankful for how you all have blessed Nathan and I so much in prayers and wedding gifts!
Please remember, thanks to technology, I am only a few buttons away. I would love to hear from anyone willing to make the time. As much as I am enjoying my new community and family I miss Tennessee, family, and missionary family so much.
Thank you again.
Blessings,
Rachael Michelle
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